Friday, August 3, 2012

It’s hard to believe that my last entry was almost a year and a half ago. And yet, it in some strange way, it’s perfect. Needless to say, I took a bit of a break from the blog. But I didn’t take a break from the left-right brain experiment. The experiment has continued on and has taken me to some unexpected places.

I’ve hesitated to jump back into the blog because, well, it’s daunting!  Where to begin? How to express all that has happened? In the spirit of the experiment, I will dive in from my non-linear, right brain while attempting to fill in the linear gaps as they are needed.

What is most apparent to me at this leg of the journey is this business of adrenaline. Some of you have taken my class “Adrenaline Alternatives” so you have dabbled into this vast arena with me. I had no idea how pandemic  this adrenaline addiction really was. I am just beginning to understand it after almost a decade of exploration and personal experience with the subject (aka: adrenal fatigue recovery).

In my last entry, which in some ways seems like only yesterday, I promised to explore this idea that “I am not a doing machine.” Little did I know that this question – this challenge – would take me down a road which involved some pretty serious rewiring in my “hard-drive.”

For me, this rewiring took the form of what some people call a healing crisis. I don’t really like that phrase, but I am grappling for a better one. How about, “the old way doesn’t work anymore so hang in there until the new program is in place. It may be a little (or a lot) uncomfortable, but it’s worth it.” I agree, it’s a bit long.

I feel I’m on the other side of this, at least enough to begin to share it. My hope is that it will be of some help to others who can relate to being ruled by the to-do list, to deriving self-worth through accomplishment, and the many exotic masquerades of the “doing machine” program.