Meditation: Anal Retentive?

There are hundreds of ways to meditate, and there is no "right way."  One of the dangers of learning specific techniques is that we grab onto the technique, and never really get beyond it.

For me, techniques can be so seductive.  They whisper in my ear, “If you just do this thing, you'll be enlightened!” or “If you get it right, you'll have a mind blowing experience!”  But, I’m going to take the risk of sharing some techniques anyway, because, well, let’s face it, meditation is one of those illusive “shoulds” floating out there that can be quite daunting.  I've found that there are some doorways that can help point the way - as long as we don’t turn them into a specific map or formula for our egos to glom onto. 

Warning: read the following with caution.

I start with taking deep breaths.  The breath seems to be a universal gateway to shift out of habitual patterns of thinking and being.  When in doubt?  Take a deep breath, anytime, anyplace, and we’ll feel a bit better, a bit wiser.  For a sitting meditation, however, it can help to get a little creative.  I imagine connecting with pure life force.  I visualize pure white light coming into my body, and out from my body like a generator.

I used to imagine the energy coming in through my crown, and one of my dear colleagues and practitioners told me I was getting “too much heaven and not enough earth,” which was throwing off my body's energy system.  Then I began breathing in energy through my heart center and I discovered that this was somehow throwing off my thalamus – too much heart energy.  That’s why there should be a warning label: experiment, adjust, customize.

 

So, now I breathe energy in and out through my whole body, and that seems to be doing the trick.  Then I mix and match some of the following breath holding techniques (uh-oh, there’s that word):

• Breathe in through your nose
• Hold the breath at the top of the inhale for 3 counts
• Release the exhale through the mouth, almost with a sigh

For a quickie (in- the-moment shift):

• Imagine drawing in what it is you want
• Hold for 3 counts
• Exhale out what you don’t want 

For example, inhale trust and exhale worry.  This is a good one when you’re feeling too full of stuff to sit quietly, or when you're moving about your day and you feel stuck or overloaded.

Here’s another one I really like.  The premise is that in order to meditate, it helps to first have energy built up in the body.  So, this practice helps meditation become easier, and I figure I’ll take any help I can get.

With any breath holding practice, I have found that it’s good not to think of it as holding the breath, but rather as a gathering of the prana/chi/energy, allowing it to distribute throughout your whole body:

• Inhale for a count of 4
• Hold for 4 counts and focus on the area around your navel (in Chinese Medicine, this is known as the “lower dantian” – our energy center)

During that count, I used to say to myself, “hold 2-3-4,” but I found this caused tension rather than expansion.  So I changed it to “prana 2- 3-4” and I picture a sun radiating in my solar plexus.

• Hold for another 4 counts as you clench and draw the energy upward toward your naval. 

Ok, how do I diplomatically describe the clench?  Heck, I’ll just say it: anal clench.  There I said it.

The clench draws the feminine energy (in all of us, male or female) upward toward the navel, creating a union between male and female energy.  So for that part, I say to myself, “Union 2-3-4” as I hold my breath.

• Then exhale for 4 counts, and begin again for 3-5 rounds

The teacher I learned this from describes this practice as an actual alchemic process of unity consciousness that prepares you for meditation.  Sounds good to me!

 

He recommended a hold of 8 counts for the navel and another 8 counts for the clench, but I haven’t been able to get there yet.  As always, we start where we are and go from there.  Any amount is still a good practice, and I’m finding it’s getting easier the more I practice, as with anything else.

  

Here’s another word of caution: I find that I often don't drop into what I imagine meditation should be, aka: a quiet mind.  

The thing is, meditation isn't always (and for most us, rarely is), a blissful trip into the void of a quiet mind.  Most days it's a scrolling through the favorite concerns and worries, and then an attempt to bless them or ask for help.  Or, it’s an uncontrollable prioritizing of my to-do list for the day.  Or, it’s a pleasant little vertical nap.

What I’ve learned over the years, however, is that this is not such a bad thing.  In fact, the things that pass through our awareness while we’re attempting to meditate, is the meditation.  One of the jobs of meditation is to cleanse, heal and return unconscious material to a conscious, purified state.  So, when we try and get quiet, it pops up for us to see.  And this is such a blessing.

 

In a state of intention and connection, we sit and allow the material to pass through so it can show us what it wants us to see, or tell us what it wants us to hear.  It’s a purging of the unconscious that is hugely life giving and healing.  It’s like waves crashing into the shore after a large boat goes by.  Eventually, the waves become smaller and smaller, but this takes time.  That’s why it’s so important to have some type of daily meditation practice.

Then meditation becomes medication.  And all we have to do is sit, and observe, and attempt to love ourselves amidst all the internal chaos.  If we can release the Buddha-image ideal, we may just experience something we are yearning for: connection, peace, truth.

Today, after doing the breathing stuff, I thought, “Ok, let go of the techniques now.”  I heard myself try and settle into a focus on the word, “love.”  Oops, another technique.  “So, let go of that too.”  A soft inner voice whispered, “Presence is not an exercise of the mind.”

 

Then, miraculously, I dropped into something very simple.  Presence.  I was just right there, in the chair, and yet, I was everywhere at once.  I could hear the various hums of the house that normally go unnoticed.  This heightened sensory awareness (in-the-moment-hearing, feeling, sensing) brought me into a buoyancy, like being enveloped in a sea of loving energy.  

It felt like warm goo that connected me to the table, the window, the air molecules….to everything.  And when I noticed how good that felt, I naturally wanted more (attachment), and poof it was gone.  I took a deep breath, and slowly opened my eyes, grateful for my brief, yet indescribably delightful, taste of what’s real.  

I can only hope that this fleeting moment might actually be potent nectar that can’t be measured, yet provides everything I need to move through this world of smoke and mirrors.

Part 2: Detoxing Our Bodies and Minds - A Journey of The Soul

Several of you have asked me recently how I'm doing since the publication of the first Detox Article (aka: "that crazy rash").  In response, I decided to post a work in progress... Part 2 of a four part article series:

Part 2: Detoxing Our Bodies and Minds - A Journey of The Soul 

As I was wrapping up Part 1 of “Detoxing Body and Mind – A Journey of the Soul,” I asked a good friend and colleague to give it a final read through.  Among her feedback was a comment that stuck with me.  “You lost me when you got to the part about our bodies evolving.”  Here is the passage she is referring to:

In the bigger picture, why does it seem that so many more of us are reacting to foods and environments?  Yes, there are more toxins in our environment than ever before, but my experience has led me to understand that there is more to the story.  I believe that our bodies are changing.  Some would even say evolving. 

In this time of breakdown, we are also at the dawning of expanded human consciousness.  This expansion requires a vessel that can handle more “wattage” (light or energy).  As challenging as it can be at times, detoxing on all levels allows us to grow and strengthen so that we can live into our soul’s potential and destiny.  I feel like I’m a phoenix rising from the flames, transforming so completely that I may be wonderfully unrecognizable on the other side of this amazing journey. 

Perhaps now is the time to expand on this notion that “our bodies are evolving.”  Before we go there, an update on the rash and my detox process might be helpful.

I am happy to report that the move to my new home has allowed me to clear my reactions to environmental toxins (mold, carpeting, lead, etc.).  That’s good news.  The mystery, however, is that I am still reacting to foods.  

In Part 1 of the article, I refer to “the rain barrel spilling over.”  That was at the heart of why I began reacting to foods…the rain barrel was full.  Now that the rain barrel is no longer full, why am I still reacting to foods?  The million dollar question…

In search of an answer, I took a blood test that revealed around 50 foods that I was reacting to.  For foods that showed a “moderate” reaction, it was recommended that those foods be eliminated for three months.  For foods that showed a “severe” reaction, six months of elimination was recommended.  I began eliminating those foods, as well as doing a diet rotation that prevented me from eating the same foods within two days.

For example, if I had rice on Tuesday, I wouldn’t eat rice again until Friday.  For many people with food sensitivities, rotating foods is key to reducing sensitivity.  But after a month of no relief, I learned that there are practically an infinite number of ways to rotate your diet, and the trick is to figure out which type of rotation is best for your body’s healing.  I used Kinesiology (muscle testing) to fine tune the rotation and determine which type my body wanted.

 

In order to keep track of what I ate when, I created a chart to track everything I ate.  It took a great deal of focus and energy to sustain it, but I was determined.  My family suffered through my seemingly endless obsession with what I put in my mouth.  

I became fixated on food as though it was my enemy or my god, depending on the day.  I got allergy free cookbooks, and lived for the treat that was “ok” for me to eat.  I could rarely eat out, and when I did, I became annoyed and frustrated with servers who didn’t get my obscure requests right.  

Finally, my husband called me on it.  He was right.  I was out of balance.  Fear was driving me.  I was afraid of the rash and I was afraid of food.  As you can imagine, I wasn’t very much fun either.  I made a decision that day to shift my focus.

 

I continued avoiding certain foods, but I decided it wasn’t going to run my life anymore.  I focused on having fun, lightening up, and letting go of control.  This was a huge turning point.  

I would play with my thoughts, “So what if I have a rash? Maybe that’s exactly what my body needs to do.”  When I looked in the mirror, instead of focusing on how bad the rash looked, I’d say, “Hello, beautiful!”  I stopped talking about it and wondering what people thought when they looked at me.

I accepted it.  I even thanked it.  I loved myself more deeply – even with the rash.  I paid attention to every negative thought that passed through my mind and changed it to a loving thought.  I used EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to clear my worry, fear, frustration and anger.  The rash became my greatest teacher.

 

As I let go of the fear and worry, I still needed to take action to support my body healing.  It was a balancing act of, “How do I let go of outcome (the rash going away), yet still take action toward what it is I want (health and well-being)?”  

The challenge of setting intention, taking right action AND letting go of outcome has always seemed like a paradox to me.  How do I envision what I want and yet not become attached to whether I actually get it or not?  I think it’s a life-long practice that reveals its magic as we go.

One of the most difficult parts about letting go was feeling close to an answer, and then the disappointment that followed when it didn’t resolve the symptoms.  The roller coaster can be exhausting when we’re attached to fixing and not in a place of loving acceptance of what is.  

Acceptance, however, doesn’t mean giving up or falling into hopelessness.  Many people with chronic conditions can attest to how tricky this dance can be.  We learn to get up, dust ourselves off, and take the next step.

 

In the past, I leaned heavily on practitioners and doctors to tell me what that next step was.  I figured they knew best.  When I was so overwhelmed by the symptoms that I couldn't think straight, it was a good idea to let them steer me.  The tricky part was knowing when trusting a treatment plan had crossed over into a loss of trusting my inner compass.

I experienced yet another turning point where I stopped looking solely to the experts, and really began to trust my own inner guidance.  Of course, I had always checked in with myself to make sure their recommendations felt right, or to decide who I should go see next.  But I’m talking about really taking the helm.  

I now feel I’m in the driver’s seat, and that is hugely empowering.  The truth is, we possess the answers to even the most challenging experiences.  The real challenge is to be able to hear those answers.

In Part 3 of this article series, I’ll share an inner inquiry where my body communicated with me information about the rash on a cellular level and how my brain was going through a complete transformation.

And, in Part 4, I’ll finally circle back to how this all relates to the question of “our bodies evolving” and this controversial business of expanded consciousness.  Sounds like fun to me!  See you then…

12-12-12 Thoughts

What if we focused everyday like we all did on 12-12-12?  I felt so connected to like-minded people around the globe, and close to home.  We were calling or texting, wishing each other a happy 12-12-12.  I got together with friends and meditated and shared food and stories.  We tuned into the global meditation at 8:30 Central, and simply practiced “smiling” all at the same time.

What if this could be just the beginning of a more organized, focused effort to connect around healing, love and light on behalf of the entire planet?  It would simply mean to continue to consciously monitor our thoughts (and beneath that emotions and beliefs), to ask for help, to stay connected to Source throughout the day as best we can, and to take positive action from there.

I’d say many of us are attempting to do that anyway, but why not bring it even more forward as a priority?  After all, isn't that what we’re here to do anyway?  That, and to co-create.  Maybe we'll get to discover a new version of co-creating something really good.

Units of Time

In the movie “About a Boy,” Hugh Grant is an heir to a one-hit-wonder.  As he meanders through his meaningless day, he reports, “I find the key is to think of a day as units of time…taking a bath: one unit, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully disheveled: four units.”

Don’t we all feel this way most days?  With the endless demands of daily life, it's so easy to lose spontaneity, creative drive and passion.  Our days are broken down into units of time.  

I first noticed this years ago when we went to Brazil.  One of the benefits of traveling is, of course, getting out of our routine.  But going to Brazil had an especially dramatic effect on me because they relate to time so differently than us.  Although Brazilians are becoming more and more “North American-ized,” I could still feel that there's a different relationship to time there.

Time seemed more like a guideline than a master.  Saying we’ll meet at 2:00 really means we’ll meet between 2:00 and 4:00.  I don’t know how they manage it, but it seems to work pretty well.  There's a flow in the moment.  Schedule decisions (outside of work mostly, but still within the work ethic as well), are made more by what is happening presently and not by what the clock says we should do or where we should be.

 

I know this all sounds pretty unrealistic and certainly unpractical.  However, it made me view my life differently.  I saw that my life had become units of time, especially with my kids: wake up time, breakfast time, get ready for school time, snack time, dinner time, bath time, bedtime.  Whew.  Done.  It’s as though I valued my day (and myself and others) based on how well I stayed on schedule (stretch the word “schedule” to mean all the to-dos of life).

 

When I stepped outside of my schedule in Brazil, I was able to see how much I was missing: the look on my daughter’s face as I sat across from her at breakfast, the fun of playing with the hamster before bed, the timelessness of pushing them on the swings over and over…

Ok, now this all sounds like mindfulness practice.  But there’s something more that I want to get to here.  Time has become our master.  It’s a great management tool, but we've let it suck the life out of us.  For me, I think it literally did.

 

We can only maintain this for so long.  Eventually it becomes an unsustainable way to live.  It hit me the hardest when I was running an import company several years later.  My body let me know that the fuel of “driven by time” (aka lists, tasks and to do’s) was tapped.  My adrenals (get-up-and-go juice) literally said, “enough.”

So what’s our real get-up-and-go juice?  I believe it is essence – life force – the invisible energy that is keeping my heart beating right now, the infinite intelligence that is behind everything from babies being born to planets not crashing into one another.

My adrenals feel like a receptor for that energy.  However, when my consciousness is stuck in units of time, it’s like I’m living in a “closed-circuit of energy.”  It’s limited and not sustainable, it burns out.  So my body gave me a great blessing through the adrenal crash I went through.  It was telling me, “hook up to source and live from there.” 

The “how” of a request like that is where the fun begins.  

 

So What Happened?

For those who would like to know more about the "healing crisis" I referred to in  my last entry (aka: "The Old Ways Aren't Working Anymore"), I decided to share with you an article that was published in the Alive and Well Journal, Spring 2012.

Detoxing our Bodies and Minds – A Journey of the Soul

By Bernadette Wesley

It was over a year ago that I texted my husband from my practitioner’s office, “Cancel our dinner date for tonight – I won’t be eating anything for a while.”   I know that sounds pretty extreme. But at that point I would have done anything to stop the painful rash that was progressively covering my face, neck and body.

 

Through Applied Kinesiology (muscle testing), I learned that I was reacting to pretty much everything I ate.  I had already eliminated the big ones – wheat, dairy, corn, and soy.  But the rash raged on.  If I ate the same food two days in a row, I would become allergic to that food. My body was on high alert and was basically reacting to food as though it was the enemy.

 

For anyone who has had food sensitivities, or needed to detox, you know the drill: mono-diet.   I ate one type of vegetable per day for one week (as much as I wanted to eat each day , but only one type of vegetable at a time, rotating so as to not repeat the same one every day).  Each week I added in one food group, usually meat or fruit and eventually grains.  I also took high doses of specific probiotics as well as powdered medical food supplements to get the necessary nutrients, reduce inflammation and help the intestinal lining heal.

 

I remember carrying in a baggie of organic broccoli to my brother’s house for Christmas dinner.  Rivers of treats lay before me on the decorated tables, and I felt deprived and alienated from the collective eating ritual.  After only a week, though, my sugar and carb cravings diminished and I started feeling the benefits.  The mono-diet is a great way to detox and reset the body.  For me, however, it wasn’t the whole picture.

For many of us with food sensitivities there are underlying root causes that can be very difficult to uncover.   Through Applied Kinesiology and blood tests, I discovered that I had heavy metal toxicity.  Toxins accumulate in the body from childhood environments as well as current environments, and like a rain barrel that’s full, one more drop of water causes it to spill over.  The toxicity level in my body had accumulated to the point where I was reacting to everything.

 

We began exploring every possible source of the toxicity, and eventually figured out that I was reacting to the house we were renting!  The concern in my two daughters’ eyes turned to disbelief as we walked through the house testing everything.  The message was getting really clear: I had to get out of that house.  I immediately reached out to my community of friends and colleagues to find a place to stay.  Within 24 hours I found myself packing up my suitcase, my laptop and some groceries, waving goodbye to my family as if I was leaving for college.  It was such a strange feeling, but we all knew I had to go.  We pulled together and got through the six surreal weeks of living apart while we looked for a new home.

We discovered through this process that old linoleum flooring can contain asbestos.  We learned that in old houses, even if paint lead tests show negative, there can still be off-gassing.  Carpets and drop ceilings can contain toxic chemicals.  And last but not least, old basements contain mold.  Any one of these alone might not be an issue, but after six years of this combination, my body’s toxic levels “spilled over.”  In England, this condition has a clinical name.  It’s called “Sick House Syndrome.”

 

After months of physical detoxing, my body is still releasing and healing.  Detoxing can occur in layers, and emotional, psycho-spiritual detoxing is very much part of the process.   Like a neon sign with a hidden message, this rash has led me to discover some core toxic beliefs that have been the bedrock of my family line for generations.  I have unconsciously built my life on them as well.

 

When we look beneath the surface of the elusive “allergic” diagnosis, many practitioners agree that when the body is in this constant alarm response, there is often a hidden belief that we are not safe.  To really heal, we must engage in deep self-inquiry and ask ourselves, “In what ways do I not feel safe in my life or in this world?”  Most often these beliefs are held in our subconscious and we need an “other” to help us lovingly see and move through our blind spots.  With support and powerful energy medicine tools like Kinesiology, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Homeopathy, and Qi Gong, I am clearing these deeper levels of toxicity.

 

In the bigger picture, why does it seem that so many more of us are reacting to foods and environments?  Yes, there are more toxins in our environment than ever before, but my experience has led me to understand that there is more to the story.  I believe that our bodies are changing.  Some would even say evolving.

 

In this time of breakdown, we are also at the dawning of expanded human consciousness.  This expansion requires a vessel that can handle more “wattage” (light or energy).  As challenging as it can be at times, detoxing on all levels allows us to grow and strengthen so that we can live into our soul’s potential and destiny.  I feel like I’m a phoenix rising from the flames, transforming so completely that I may be wonderfully unrecognizable on the other side of this amazing journey.

 

As I sit in my new toxin-free home, I wish I could tell you that the rash is completely gone.  My skin is still healing, but more importantly, I feel clear and strong deep in my core.  I have been given the gift of feeling truly beautiful from the inside out. 

It’s hard to believe that my last entry was almost a year and a half ago. And yet, it in some strange way, it’s perfect. Needless to say, I took a bit of a break from the blog. But I didn’t take a break from the left-right brain experiment. The experiment has continued on and has taken me to some unexpected places.

I’ve hesitated to jump back into the blog because, well, it’s daunting!  Where to begin? How to express all that has happened? In the spirit of the experiment, I will dive in from my non-linear, right brain while attempting to fill in the linear gaps as they are needed.

What is most apparent to me at this leg of the journey is this business of adrenaline. Some of you have taken my class “Adrenaline Alternatives” so you have dabbled into this vast arena with me. I had no idea how pandemic  this adrenaline addiction really was. I am just beginning to understand it after almost a decade of exploration and personal experience with the subject (aka: adrenal fatigue recovery).

In my last entry, which in some ways seems like only yesterday, I promised to explore this idea that “I am not a doing machine.” Little did I know that this question – this challenge – would take me down a road which involved some pretty serious rewiring in my “hard-drive.”

For me, this rewiring took the form of what some people call a healing crisis. I don’t really like that phrase, but I am grappling for a better one. How about, “the old way doesn’t work anymore so hang in there until the new program is in place. It may be a little (or a lot) uncomfortable, but it’s worth it.” I agree, it’s a bit long.

I feel I’m on the other side of this, at least enough to begin to share it. My hope is that it will be of some help to others who can relate to being ruled by the to-do list, to deriving self-worth through accomplishment, and the many exotic masquerades of the “doing machine” program.

Can Chocolate Cake Lead to Enlightenment?

In my last entry I talked about the expansiveness of the right brain (ocean), and the constriction of the left brain (drop of water), and how my left brain still gets caught in the “doing” cycle as it attempts to implement the ideas generated from my right brain.

My intention last week was to practice living from right brain dominance, rather than all my energy revolving around “how much I get done” (see last entry).  Each day, I would wake up and ask myself: “I wonder what will amaze me today?”

The biggest shift I’ve noticed from asking this question is that I am noticing how much my children amaze me. Sounds pretty typical – but not when you know how much I get REALLY focused on my work, and on getting a lot done (that high productivity/creativity mode). 

I tend to go there and STAY there – missing other parts of my life like really connecting with those I care about, having fun, taking down time, etc.  This “chronic doing” is a pattern that in the past led me to getting adrenal fatigue.  So take note, you don’t want to go there and stay there.  Trust me on that.

I also found myself being more spontaneous.  On one of my late afternoon breaks, I spontaneously decided to bake a chocolate cake (if any of you know me well, you might be laughing out loud at how out-of-character this is).  I had a TON of fun, my kids joined in, and it really fed my right brain (and my chocolate craving). 

The other biggest insight from this stage of the experiment:

“I am not a doing machine.”  Doesn’t it sometimes feel like life is all about how much we get done? 

In Daniel Pink's book, "A Whole New Mind - Why Right-Brainers Will Rule The Future," he talks about how we are entering the “Conceptual Age:"

“Today, the defining skills of the previous era - the “left-brain capabilities” that powered the Information Age - are necessary but no longer sufficient...and the 'right-brain' qualities of inventiveness, empathy, joyfulness, and meaning increasingly will determine who flourishes and who flounders.”

More on this in my next entry…

Have a great day,

Bernadette

PS: BTW, the Chocolate Cake Recipe I used is SUGAR FREE, DAIRY FREE  and GLUTEN FREE - FLOURLESS.   It uses black beans which sounds really weird, but trust me, it tastes wonderful - no bean taste at all, just yummy, rich chocolate.  It calls for different sweetener options, I found Agave to taste the best.  Click here for the recipe.

ConsciousLeadershipNow.com

Inspired Leadership.Thriving Productivity.Whole Mind Solutions.

Trying To Fit an Ocean Into a Drop of Water

There are some of us who need “productivity coaching” and others who need “slow down coaching.”  These days, I fall into the latter category.  It can be equally as challenging to not be able to focus and get stuff done, as it is to not be able to stop 'doing' and getting stuff done (can you relate?).

Before I go on, it might be helpful to set the stage again on the qualities of left and right brain consciousness (see some of the first entries for more on this).  

Right brain consciousness is the home of our higher mind.  It serves as a gateway to infinite possibility, potential, and co-creation with “life-force energy.”  Big stuff.  It’s where our best ideas and creative solutions come from.  It’s the gateway to meaning, purpose and connection to something greater – to the “whole.” 

The left brain takes those great ideas and possibilities and turns them into form.  Obviously, we need both hemispheres working together.  However, the predominant habit is to be left brain dominant – to stay in the linear “doing” mode – especially when we’re stressed or have a LOT to do.

What I’ve noticed is that as I strengthen access to my right brain, I feel like I’m in a fast flowing river.  I’m downloading lots of great ideas and information from a wide reservoir of infinite potential.  Sounds pretty cool, right?

But what can happen is that the left brain takes all that great information and tries to contain it.  It wants to GET IT DONE.  It wants to control it, solve it, analyze it, keep it on track – almost obsessively.  Imagine trying to squeeze an ocean into a drop of water.  

The result?  Sleepless nights, feeling overwhelmed, and the “not enough time to do it all feeling.”  It feels like an internal pressure, or a “crack the whip” type of inner voice whose job is to keep us on task.  Generally speaking, it’s the “overload” place we go to because the left brain just can’t contain the vastness that the right brain can dish out.

I’ve been able to use my left brain as a helpful assistant to the right brain idea generator in some good ways like making lists, organizing projects, getting support, delegating, and taking action.  And that’s all good. 

But…here’s the catch.  It’s not that fun.  It’s tiring.  It’s never-ending.  I notice that I wake up in the morning and think, “What do I need to get done today?” as a motivator to get going.  I end the day thinking, “What did I get done today, and what do I need to get done tomorrow?”  Ouch!  What a barrel of laughs that is. 

So here’s my commitment (and why I’m doing this experiment in the first place):

I choose to live in right brain directed consciousness (not the other way around – where my left brain ends up habitually running the show). 

How can I step into this even more without short-circuiting?

Here some ideas that came to me this morning:

When I wake up in the morning, instead of revolving my energy around what I need to get done today, or what I got done yesterday, or what needs to get done next week (you get the idea), I’m going to focus my thoughts on things like:

• I wonder what will amaze me today?
• I wonder what I’ll learn today?
• What friend can I connect with this week?
• Do I have some music, dance and play in my life this week?
• What fun things do I have on my schedule?
• I will connect with nature and beauty every day (in small ways)

Yes, I’ll still get a lot done, ‘cause that’s fun too (and necessary right now).  But I’m not going to let it run my life.  I’ve done it that way for too long.  And there are consequences.  I've learned that it’s life-taking rather than life-giving.  It’s not sustainable.

I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going.  Try it with me…and let us know how it’s going!

Bernadette

ConsciousLeadershipNow.com

Inspired Leadership.Thriving Productivity.Whole Mind Solutions.

What happens when we never feel done?

Continuing the thread from the last two posts, I think it's worth looking again at what happens when we are in a "chronic state of incompletion." We are so programmed (stored in our left brain) to always move onto the next thing, that it takes conscious awareness (from the right brain) to break the habit.  Here's some motivation...

When we don't pause in between tasks, and acknowledge what we've just completed, or really feel "done" at the end of each day (and especially at the end of a week), this is what happens: 

• Our nervous system stays in a perpetual state of incompletion - it's like always leaving the switch in the "on"position

•  It becomes harder to turn the switch "off" when we want or need down time 

• We feel like there's "never enough time to get it all done" which causes stress

• Stress releases excess cortisol

• Excess cortisol compromises our immune function

• Cortisol influences hormones and can cause cellular inflammation (now that's motivating!)

We need to practice being "done" each day to train our nrevous system to recognize how to "switch off" and take down time for rest, play, and rejevenation.

Knowing there will always be more to do, try really feeling done today, and enjoy your weekend.

Reminder Tips: Stop the Cycle of Incompletion

Here's a quick reminder on "Stopping the Chronic State of Incompletion."  (see last entry).

My left brain is so used to moving onto the next task, that I thought we  could all use a brush up:

1) Remind yourself you've already done a lot

2) Pause in between tasks and acknowledge what you just completed

3) Take stock of what you completed in 2010 and at the end of each day/week

4) At the end of the day and especially at the end of the week, tell yourself:

"All is complete."  And FEEL it all the way down to your core.  Relax into it.  Practice this until you can access that feeling easily.

5) Celebrate your accomplishments - every day in little ways.  Pat yourself on the back, make a toast with a special beverage, light a candle, tell a friend.

And, especially important: tap into the universal 7 day cycle each week and take that break from the everyday demands of phone, email, lists, appointment, etc. 

REST, PLAY, LAUGH, EXERCISE, GET OUTSIDE, CONNECT WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY.  You'll be amazed at how much better your life will feel.

Happy Friday.

The Chronic State of Incompletion

How many of us do this: when we finish something, we immediately look ahead to the next thing.  We all have this habit to some degree.  It's cultural.  It's our automatic response (left brain).

If we don’t pause, and really savor completing something – down in our core our nervous system stays in a perpetual state of incompletion.
 
Our body then still thinks there’s more to do, and this feeds the “never enough time to get it all done” feeling.

When we're rushing around to get it all done, our system stays in a state of "chronic stress."  And, according to Dr. Christine Northrop and many leading doctors, this impacts our immune, hormones and cellular inflammation, and even our thyroid.

The Antidote

• Remind yourself that you’ve already done a lot
• This sets a signal of internal rest and relaxation
• Sends a message to your brain and body of self-esteem and personal power

Change your Relationship to Time (shift from left to right brain perception)

Life has sped up exponentially in the past 100 years.  We process more bits of information in 1 day than our grandparents did in a year! 

Taking stock of what you’ve already done shifts your relationship to time.

• Realize that 1 way or another, you always have time to get done the things that absolutely have to get done
• This start a loop of positive reinforcement that makes you feel like you have more control of your life.  

 If you perceive that there is always enough time, there will be. 

And that's the nature of the right brain.  

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If I Quiet My Mind, Will I Get Anything Done?

In the last entry, I talked about the inner chatter of the left brain.  It may be helpful to know that this inner chatter has developed over time as a means to "keep us going."  We use mental prompts to take action, we use fear and anxiety provoking thoughts to drive us forward, or hold us back.

As we practice quieting our left brain in order to access the power of the right brain, the left brain may feel threatened.  After all, it's been running the show for quite a while.  It may say things like:

"If you quiet me, you won't get anything done..." or...
"You need me to keep you on task..." or...
"If I quiet my mind, will I know what to say, or do? Will I be able to perform, keep up, be brilliant!"

The truth is, brilliance comes from the right brain (soul), and your left brain (ego) knows that.  So the left brain might be feeling a little insecure with your attempts to quiet it and be guided by the right brain.  

As weird as it seems, it's like there are 2 of us - our ego (which is expressed through the left brain), and our soul (which is expressed through the right brain).

Reassure your left brain that you're on the same team. That you both want the same thing.  Let it know you still need it, and that you value its expertise.  We need our left brain's skills to carry out the guidance from the right brain.


Remember, a calm mind is an effective mind.  
A quiet mind is an intelligent mind. 

You'll still get a lot done...in fact, you'll probably get more done.  And it's a lot more fun from your higher mind, rather than from fear, anxiety and comparing and competing.


Keep practicing!  It's worth it.

Inner Voice of the Left Brain

Lately I've made it a practice to notice and observe the inner voice of my left brain.  This is the ongoing dialogue inside my head that informs me of logistics, to-do items, comments, comparisons, etc.

It sounds something like "don't forget to do call this person, I'm hot, I'm tired, I'm not sure how to do this, I don't know enough, there's not enough time to do what I have to do..."  There seems to be 3 general categories of the left-brain dialogue.  I see them as: 

1) helpful sorting of information in order to make a decision or take an action 
2) unhelpful comments based in insecurity 
3) manager/boss type comments about action items, to-do's, etc

I decided to play with these voices and interact with it a little differently.  I began to see the "insecure" comments as needy children wanting my attention (perhaps parts of me that had "split off" or didn't get what they needed).

Instead of trying to ignore them or push them away, I simply listened from my right brain (the compassionate, neutral observer) and every time I'd hear a comment, I'd simply say to it, "thank you, I love you." (derived from the Ho'oponopono Hawaiian Prayer). 

I saw the manager voice as the CEO in my head trying to keep me on track.  Instead of getting stressed or reacting to the voice, I again said, "thank you, I love you."

I did this over and over consistently for a full 2 days. After a while, they began to quiet down.  In fact at one point, when the manager/CEO stood up to tell me something to do, I started to say, "thank...." and it interrupted me and said, "yeah, yeah, I got it." and it "sat down" and became quiet.  It was quite humorous!


It was a great experiment in shifting to the right brain throughout my day, and taking action from a place of true power, calm and clarity.  It found it liberating and expanding.  The left-brain voices are part of me...but they don't need to run the show.  Of course, it is an ongoing practice from here.


Action: Try noticing  your own inner voices, and experiment with interacting with them a little differently.  Find a way that feels right to you to give them what they need, without giving them all of your power. 

Conscious Listening (Right Brain)

One way of listening is "Reactive Listening." This is ego-based listening, or left brain. When we are listening to someone and we are unconsciously judging, comparing and evaluating, it is a way to hold the ego identity in place. It helps us form opinions, which helps the ego feel more real. You may remember from the 2nd blog entry, when we form an opinion just for the sake of opinion (not associated with a decision or action), then we are in the left brain, or the ego.

The other way is "Conscious Listening." This is soul-based listening, or right brain. It is a purposeful way of listening with the intention of understanding, relating, or learning something new (either about ourselves or about someone else). By focusing our attention on suspending the inner commentary, we enter into the "real" (instead of the constructed reality of the ego/left brain). This reality is life-giving. It will feel different. It is sustaining, and offers the promise of real connection and unexpected outcomes versus predictable outcomes based on our past.

I tried this recently with my husband:

As we sat together on our day off, I suspended my habitual way of conversing. Normally I would comment on problems to solve, stuff to do, and scheduling questions, etc. I noticed these thoughts (instead of speaking them as they came in), and brought by attention back to the moment. If a thought pulled me into the past or the future, I didn’t go with it. Instead, I focused on what was happening right then in the moment.

The empty discomfort turned to spaciousness. It felt good. We unexpectedly ended up listening to music, and dancing for 4 hours! My energy picked up. It felt spontaneous and alive. By letting go of our habitual way of relating to each other, unexpected ways of connecting became available. You could call it “soul inspired.”

It’s worth it to travel through the discomfort of letting go of a “left brain based” conversation and enter into the unknown waters of a “right brain based” conversation.

Action: Try Conscious Listening this week with someone, and see how it feels.

Note: Reactive and Conscious Listening is drawn from Shifra Hendrie, Living a Miraculous Life.

Shifting awareness to the Right Brain

When I first started trying to shift my focus to my right brain (in the first weeks of this experiment), it felt a little disorienting.  I was so used to identifying myself through my left brain (where the ego resides): a constant commentary running through my mind - discussing, comparing, judging, reminding me of things I need to do. 

When I would consciously try and shift to my right brain (by literally imagining it - focusing my attention on the right side of my head), I would get a slight headache.  It felt like a weak muscle needing to strengthened.

Another specific way to practice this is to shift your visual field from a narrow focus on specific objects in your field of view, to a "wide lens" field of view (peripheral vision).  I recommend trying this while in motion, such as walking, and not just in a sitting position or during meditation.  This exercise quiets the left brain, and activates the right brain - and is particularly helpful in making a quick shift during high activity, when the left brain would normally be dominant.

As I did this regularly throughout my day, it felt odd.  I felt kind of "blank" in my mind.  Instead of feeling good, my left brain immediately put its judgement on it to try and gain control back.  It would say things like, "this is boring, maybe I'm depressed, I won't be effective if I have a quiet mind, YOU NEED ME!!"

So right now it's about practice and noticing - lots of practice and noticing, so that the ability to consciously "switch platforms" becomes strengthened.

Horse (left brain) and Rider (right brain)

June 30, 2010

I woke up this morning with thoughts running through my head…so much to do, and the list is growing longer. Then I remembered that this is my left brain trying to cope, to control, and to “be in charge.”  This is what you want to watch out for. 

Whenever the mind is engaging in an “internal dialogue” that is not connected to a specific decision or action (in this case it was one thing after another…a rambling list with no clear direction or focus), then this is what can be called an “ego-based conversation.”

When you notice this kind of conversation (ie: “usually fueled by I should, I need to, I can’t, I’m afraid to, how can I do all of this”, etc), then remember that this is the left brain trying to “lead the horse.”  What we want is the right brain (higher mind) to be the rider, and the left brain is the horse.  In other words, the right brain sources and directs the left brain.  Direction or insight from right brain can be considered a “soul-based” conversation.

What to do?  Simply practice becoming aware of the left brain conversation in your mind.  Then intend to shift your awareness to the observer, the quiet, still place that is beyond that list, beyond that voice.  It is connected to a larger picture – it feels expansive, connected and at peace.  It’s always there, you simply need to intend to focus on it, even if you don’t know how yet. 

Practicing this will “build your muscle” for becoming a master of shifting platforms from the left brain to the right brain, and back again for taking specific, directed action.

Check back – I’ll be going into this in more detail in upcoming posts.

Action: Today, practice being aware of your left brain inner conversation (ego based) and right brain inner conversation (soul based).  Just notice and play with it.  The more you practice, the easier it will become to make the shift moment to moment – even in demanding situations. 

Starting to play with the shift

I made the following notes in my journal in the first week of the experiment:

May 27:

I  was having a really intense sinus reaction to something - a cold? allergies?  My left brain wanted to name the problem, to figure out what it was, why it was there, and how I can make it go away.  Wanting answers!  Wanting relief! (as we all do with any physical discomfort).

So, one of my wise colleagues (Rachel Neumann), encouraged me to "NOT name it."  To be in the unknown (switch my focus from the left brain to the right brain).  

The right brain is the home of the unknown.  To live there can feel awkward and uncomfortable at first.  So, I sat for a few minutes and just noticed my breath, and imagined myself "releasing" all explanations and thoughts about my symptoms.  I simply noticed them from a quiet, observing place (the right brain).

I stayed in a place of "open receptivity" (also the home of the right brain) by simply observing instead of identifying with the symptoms.  My symptoms almost immediately dispersed, and were completely gone within 24 hours.

Try it for yourself!

Introducing the Right and Left Brain

As a start, I thought it would be good to introduce the overall functions of the right and left brain from a "consciousness" perspective (derived from the Living a Miraculous Life class I am taking).  Below is a list that is a starting point.  I will add to it as we go. This experiment will track my attempt to shift platforms from using my left brain as dominant, to using my right brain as dominant.  Why do this?  Take a look at the list below, and see what you think.  I'll let you know how it's going in my next entry!

Empowering use of the Left Brain:

• Untangling confusion
• Problem solving
• Using discernment or judging to make a choice or a decision

Limiting use of the Left Brain:

• Judging turns to judgment
• Creating an opinion just for the sake of having an opinion (ie: self-talk of "I like this, I don't like that, it's not as good as before, I can't do that because...")
• Perception based on what we know already: the past equals the future

Accessing The Right Brain: (could be considered "higher mind")

• Allows for what it doesn't know yet (so it can feel uncomfortable)
• Opens the gateway between the soul and the personality
• Allows you to maximize your effect on your life by aligning the Right Brain, Left Brain, and Action
• Co-creative power Highest Intelligence, expansive, learning, creating toward your destiny (the past does NOT equal the future)

What's so interesting about the right and left brain?

You may be wondering why I chose to focus on an experiment like this.  Why the right and left brain, and what does that have to do with being a conscious leader?  I will be answering this question in small "bites" as we go on this journey together.  

My intention is to keep these blog posts brief so that you can read them "at a glance" and yet gain meaningful, relevent information that you can apply to your work and your life.  Or, at the very least, that you find something intriguing enough to want to check back on the experiment. 

I started this specifc experiment on May 26, 2010 (about 2 weeks ago) because I was inspired by some infomation that I came across in a class that I am taking on "Living a Miraculous Life."  Those who are tracking the field of "consciousness" seem to agree that we are entering a time of "expansion and evolution."  

Yes, on the one hand it looks like everything is breaking down.  The other side of that coin, however, is that new possibilities for creating from our "higher mind" (the right brain) are increasingly accessible to us in these times.  What's so cool about that?  We'll be exploring that together as we go.

As I attempt to integrate my "higher mind" (right brain) amidst chaos and activity of daily life demands (left brain), I will share with you tips, pitfalls, successes and questions along the way.  I believe integrating the right and left brain is a doorway to transforming these turbulent times into a world we dream of - from the inside out.

Thanks for going on the ride with me!